The Bond - My Sistah El

(Left: Me and Right: El)

There are sistahs who come into my life and it seems as though there’s never been a time that they haven’t been there. My sistah El is that one for me. We are so alike it’s hard for me to explain to people that she’s not my biological sister. She loves everything that I love, and hates everything that I hate. She jokes that this is a prerequisite for friendships, and even though we know that it’s not true, we agree to it.

           

She is the most talented person I have ever had the chance to encounter. We first came to know each other through poetry and quickly realized that we have everything in the world to bond over.  She inspires me in so many ways and it is with her encouragement that I have done performances I had previously been too afraid to do. She gives me strength.

(Left: Me and Right: El... Most of our pics together are of me squeezing her like I need to keep her safe from the world... lol)

            

Although I have so many sistahs who watch over, or protect me, she is the one I am most protective of. Since she is so incredibly brilliant, people often assume that she is not the emotional kind, and this is where we are most connected. We are both soft hearted and take everything straight to an emotional position. This causes us pain at times and in those moments where tears are necessary, we will both shed them no matter who is experiencing the pain.

            

I have always been quick to come to the defence of those I love, and with El’s delicate heart that gives so much, I am twice as defensive because I feel her pain. In my “Definition of a Sistah” poem, it was her I was thinking of, especially the line that says:

“Cause I would gladly take on anything

If I could bring some measure of safety to my sistah”

(Left: El and Right: Me... again with the squeezing...lol)

I'd like to think of her as the version of me with no children. She is able to commit more time and energy to community work than I would ever be able to commit to. When I am exhausted from family life and my kids’ extracurricular activities, she is just warming up and ready to go for anyone who might need her. This motivates me to be a better sistah, to do more, and to give more. She is a shining example of what community means. She is the sistah who would break herself, spread herself too thin if it meant that she was helping someone else. In my younger days I would do this too, so now I understand the importance of self-care and she is constantly subject to my self-care-motherly lectures. Even with all the lecturing in the world I know that she will still continue to push through as long as there is love to fuel her. All I can do is be here with love, support and sometimes a shield to protect her heart, but she has shown me that sistahood means accepting and loving each other as we are, so I know that I could never make her give up the work that she does, even for self-preservation. 

Even when we are together with tears, pain, or suffering, it is with great love.