The Definition of a Sistah

I figure the best way to start this blog is with a poem I wrote last year. I was looking for the definition of "Sistah" because I was working on something else and I wanted to see what it said exactly. I couldn't find anything other than female sibling related answers and while I do have a female sibling, that's not what I mean when I introduce someone as my Sistah. I decided to define it for myself in a poem. 

The Definition of a Sistah

When I speak about the women in my life there has never been a question

There has never once been an occasion for verbal dissection

It’s always been as simple as “this is my sistah”

No need to get it twisted

But when I looked for definition

I can’t find any recognition

For the women I call s-i-s-t-a-h

(That’s just the way I spell it)

But no matter which way I tell it

You know I’m not talking about a female born to my mother

It’s along the same lines as “brotha from another”

It’s not necessary for blood to connect us although sometimes it does

This is friendship based on a foundation of love

And maybe that’s the symbolism behind it all

I want people to understand just how close we are

Giving light to an unseen connection

It’s a term of deep affection that I give out carefully, and only when earned

With the remaining factor - that this love is returned

This bond is something closer than just friendship

She’s that firm hand that forces me to get a grip on reality

When the dreamer in me starts to fly away

She knows just what to say

Even when I don’t want to hear her

But just being near her

Brings me comfort in knowing she always got my back

And whatever I might lack

I guarantee she makes up for in one way or another

That’s why I love her

Cause I only gotta be me and she accepts that as perfection

The term sistah means protection

And she is my reflection

Cause she always throws things back at me to evaluate

Her opinion carries more weight

Then anybody else’s

Her knowledge = wealth

And I can’t begin to tell you how rich she would be if she got paid for handing out life lessons

It is a blessing

When women friends care enough to turn friendship into family

And that’s how it’s supposed to be

Cause I imagine the term sistah has deeper roots then this

Beginning with cracked whips

We were forced from family and had to create our own

And we must have known

That the connection was deeper than just coming together out of necessity

It was a safe place for us to be

Where we were loved and respected even if the whole world refused to do the same

And the importance of the name

Was not just that we identified as friends and family

It was how we came to be

And where we planned on going

Because with my sistahs I would always be growing

Simply because they took the time to nurture me

And generations ago “sistah” could mean “free”

Black women joined together to clear the path to the underground railway

“Sistah’s” visiting meant a black woman had a safe place to stay

And if I wasn’t brave enough to run

You would be standing behind me with shotgun

Cause you would never leave your sistah behind

You’d give me clarity of mind

Directing me with hidden clues in quilts sewn by hand

You could put me on a path to a free land

By hanging your hard work on clotheslines for me to see as I ran past

And sistahs would sacrifice themselves and agree to go last

Cause I would gladly take on anything

If I could bring some measure of safety to my sistah

So we fast forward ahead to when racial segregation

Still took place in education

You knew sistah meant a connection and a safe place to be yourself

We’d find a sistah nurse when we had questions about our health

If I couldn’t feed my family

I’d find a sistah cook

And if I didn’t know how to read

I’d find a sistah with a book

Cause sistah meant trust, and love and care

Even if we didn’t know each other, you knew I was there

The same way we still acknowledge each other with simple greetings and head nods

And we could travel like a squad

Militantly reciting messages of support to make sure we all hear it

There’s nothing to fear

When you’re with your sistahs

And today sistah means strength

She is only as far as my arm’s length, or a phone call from whenever I might need her

I can succeed with her

Because her motivation is sometimes all that’s required

To get me all fired up

Sistah means love’s pure power

Because negativity gets devoured simply by being in her presence

She is still standing behind me with shotgun

When I need to run and can’t find the strength for my legs to carry on

And she is wary on the topic of anything that might not be best for me

She will protest for me

Because of everything sistahood represents

She is a series of life events

That connected us at vital points of meaning

Never leaning but always lifting

She is a gift

And that’s why I call her sistah

-JNP